Dude is a man child on a free ride. At best clueless at worst he knows what he’s doing and doesn’t care. These types love having a mommy to manage their life but tend to bail if asked to step up as an equal partner. Lots of red flags here, i would investigate the possibility of infidelity and/or substance abuse. They can all be charming until you put them on the spot but the free ride needs to stop. Your children are being neglected under his care and honestly you are basically a single parent operating without his financial input already so you’d cope okay without him there. I would ask to see his bank accounts they would probably be enlightening as to what’s really going on. Good luck if there’s infidelity go visit chumplady.com she’ll set you right. Good luck