Great writing. A few things. You’re mom is a badass, with great boundaries. And, as you well know, your dad is not. He took the easy way out in many situations in his life, including letting you take the blame for his lack of maturity and irresponsibility in breaking your mother’s boundaries regarding his dad that gave the message that he could abuse a child with little to no consequences. You seem very self-aware and cognizant of the dynamic at play with your dad, but I hope you’ve managed some kind of therapy support to deal with the mindfuck from your dad. He will treat you like the lifeboat on his sinking ship if you let him, but you’ve been the recipient of enough of his emotional displacement already in your young life. All the best.