Hope as Momentum

To say that I’m feeling a little down right now would be an understatement.

You know those times when everything seems raw and life seems to bump up against those wounds continually, never giving them a chance to heal? I feel like an open wound right now. But that’s how it should be, I guess, it’s what I’m going through right now.

I’ve been through a separation, I miss my kid when they’re with my ex, and I doubt my abilities to pull off a life do-over, while simultaneously chastising myself for not being to take the high road on things I would have previously, due to the economic realities of life. Beggars can’t be choosers, as Nana used to say, with those raised eyebrows.

And selling my belongings Craigslist to fund my rent isn’t a state that I want to be in longer than absolutely necessary, so now that I’ve been given the chance to stabilize my situation I’m embracing that, but feeling like a traitor to my current workmates at the same time.

Having to do such a hard pivot in my job, when we’d only just started to gel in a sweet collaborative situation is not my ideal scenario. I’m someone who believes in people more than places, and I also have a built-in underdog approach to management, so I feel like I’ve sold out to their benefit and my own personal circumstances, while my unionist soul is whispering profanities in my ear. I feel…