It won’t be you ruining the wedding. That’s part of the ongoing unfairness, the abuser builds a narrative of their victim being unstable, the ‘crazy’ one and then when they respond to the ongoing trauma they point the finger and say, “see, look I told you.” It’s so nasty and such a mindfuck. I haven’t read your whole article yet but I am gobsnacked that your daughter would even think of putting you in that position, unless you have kept the full extent of your partners abuse from her. I shall read on.